Will you live within God’s design?
It is no surprise to anyone that the world’s definition of marriage is changing, and we see this reflected daily through every medium. More disturbing to us, however, is the fact that the Church now reflects the deterioration occurring in the world. For some time now, the divorce rate has been the same among believers and those not defining themselves as Christians. The number of those choosing to marry is declining and it is not at all unusual for Christian couples to see living together before marriage as a completely acceptable option. Just as the covenant of marriage has been devalued, the gift of godly singleness has been diminished. Sexuality is a misunderstood and misused blessing from God, and His good relationship gifts of singleness and marriage are being assaulted. We see this as a systematic rejection of the beauty and intimacy that our Triune God designed to exist in relationships and, in a special way, within the marriage covenant. Given this devastation and dishonoring of God’s design, we want to teach anyone in the Church aged 12 and beyond about the beauty of godly relationships, sexuality, singleness, and marriage. We wish to serve as a counterpoint to the world’s false teaching and bring a return to the understanding of relationship holiness and value. We believe this can be accomplished through a better understanding of God, His Word, and grace in our daily circumstances.
Teaching, counseling, and coaching should always point to Jesus Christ as the healer, the Holy Spirit as the engine of change, and the Father as the receiver of all glory. We believe that all truth is God’s truth, tempered by the recognition that not all truth claims are true. We use God’s equipping, His wisdom, and the resources at our disposal to find the truth in a matter and offer possible courses of action. Options for Spirit-driven transformation should come through prayer and experience and must always have a Scriptural basis. We weigh current psychological methods against Scripture to discern the best guidance for our clients.
The Holy Spirit is the only true means we have to obtain lasting, transformative growth. This is accessed through supplication, routine prayerful self-examination, and transparent accountability regarding the spiritual direction received from the Spirit. This spiritual direction is always confirmed and measured against Scripture. We pray daily for guidance and wisdom for ourselves, and we pray for and with our clients.
We often ask our clients, “Are you willing to draw a line in the sand?” If you are convinced and convicted that it is time for you to pursue relationships based on God’s design, we hope you will allow us the privilege of walking with you in this pursuit.
Mission
Our ministry’s mission is the Great Commission to love God and one another by partnering with and coming alongside men and women through teaching, discipling, counseling, and coaching believers about, toward, and through godly relationships.
Biblical Principles
Biblical Principle #1: Relationship ministry is valid and crucial because God created value in singleness and marriage, and God’s Word directs us to seek wise counsel – Proverb 19:20
Teaching and counseling individuals and couples in singleness, during courtship, engagement, and marriage phases is a biblical model; therefore seeking biblical counsel from believers during these major life phases is wise and beneficial.
Biblical Principle #2: Marriage is instituted by God; marriage and singleness are equally valuable and good – Genesis 2:18-25 1 Corinthians 7:8
God designed all people to live one of two lifestyles: singleness and marriage. The covenant marriage relationship between a man and a woman is designed by God and exemplified in the Old and New Testaments. A biblical marriage connects two people as one, reflecting God’s character and resulting in sanctification toward holiness. Biblical singleness is equally valued as a way of connecting to all people.
Biblical Principle #3: Marriage is an intimate, permanent bond – Matthew 19:1-9
Jesus reveals that marriage was originally designed by God to be a lifetime commitment. Divorce is a human-conceived solution and a reflection of humanity’s sinful character. While grace must be extended to those affected by divorce, the church must take a stronger proactive stand against the dissolution of marriage.
Biblical Principle #4: All relationships should be centered in love, respect, and obedience – Ephesians 5:22-33
The marriage bond is to reflect the beautiful relationship between Christ and the Church as well as the perfect relationship of the Godhead. The believer’s marriage must be held to this higher standard in order to act as a witness to the world. Married couples and singles must love and respect others as brothers and sisters and strive to protect their own whole-life purity and the purity of others.
Biblical Principle #5: Marriage is lived in mutual submission under Jesus Christ – Ephesians 5:21.
While the functional relationship in marriage is complementary, the relationship under God in Jesus Christ is one of equality with and mutual submission to one another.
Biblical Principle #6: Married relationships are comprised of two complementary roles – 1 Peter 3:1-7, Titus 2:1-8.
God designed men and women differently, to work together in harmony, supporting and edifying one another, bringing differing strengths to bear on the relationship, always seeking to bless the other. The biblical roles of husband and wife, and of men and women, should be esteemed and encouraged.
Biblical Principle #7: All people are created as whole beings, having been endowed with sexuality – Genesis 1:27-28, 1 Peter 3:8-9.
Sexuality is an important, inseparable part of gender, either femininity or masculinity, and is to be enjoyed by all in purity and godliness.
Biblical Principle #8: Marriage is reflective of the intimacy between Christ and His Bride, the Church, and ultimately reflects the intimacy within the Triune Godhead – Ephesians 5:28-33.
Personal obedience and transparency build intimacy in marriage, which gives us a window into the Trinity. In our obedience to biblical mandates, we are sanctified individually and as couples, and our witness to the world is strengthened.
Core Values – The Constant, Passionate Core Beliefs That Drive Godly Relationships:
The Trinity as model for perfect community – As Christian believers, chosen and called by the Father before time began, saved by the finished work of Jesus Christ, and sanctified by the Holy Spirit toward ever deepening and transformational holiness for God’s glory, we are compelled by His love to live righteously and to aid our brothers and sisters to do likewise. This serves to unify believers, increase our witness to the world, and bring glory to God.
The Bible is the inerrant and authoritative Word of God – We must have a basis of truth from which to operate, a standard that exists outside of opinion, philosophy, and human reasoning. For believers, that standard must be God’s Word.
Godly marriage and godly relationships reflect God’s character – Many of God’s attributes are reflected in the ways people relate to one another. Some of these are righteousness, holiness, truth, forgiveness, love, graciousness, and wisdom.
Prayerfulness – Because “the fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom (Ps 111:10),” God’s guidance must be sought through humility in prayer. Believers have a unique opportunity to seek guidance from the author and designer of relationships. Not to seek this wise guidance is foolishness.
Disdain for divorce – Divorce is a short-term solution for long-term disobedience to God. In Malachi 2:16 and Matthew 19:3-6, we see that God hates divorce. Although this has become a common practice in the world today, the Church should be visibly different than the world. Christian believers must regain a godly sorrow regarding this practice, turning to the dissolution of the marriage bond only as a last resort. When divorce does occur it is an opportunity for Christian believers to extend grace, comfort, and restoration to those involved.